@Anyalachae7: Just bought a medical alert bracelet that says "probably just shitfaced."
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@KenJennings: You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film "Helicopter Shots of People Walking."
@AnkCoupleTO: I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards
@grmonta: I don't know what's more embarrassing, accidentally sending nudes to your boss or getting a pay decrease as a result of your nudes.