@David_Ingram: Just bought a sandwich in San Francisco. Handed over a $20 bill. Cashier to his coworker: "How do I accept cash?"
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@ValeeGrrl: My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream "three-way" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh.
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.
@Edie_Is_Dead: Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch.