@David_Ingram: Just bought a sandwich in San Francisco. Handed over a $20 bill. Cashier to his coworker: "How do I accept cash?"
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@ixSEANxi: Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza
@slyoung5: Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that.
@AndrewNadeau0: You can just tell people you're writing a novel even if you're not. There will not be follow up questions.