@timdonakowski: Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet.
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@RidiculousSheri: Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS
@AdriannaLaCervx: I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues.
@Jay1972Jay: My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink.