@Midgetspar: Just built a kite that'll hold my cat. Figured if a mouse helped discover electricity then my cat & I should be able to unlock time travel.
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@MartaEffing: *runs my fingers thru your hair* *tightens grip* *pulls your head back* *looks you in the eye* Me: WTF do you mean you ate the last donut?
@HiddenPinky: [Home after awful day at work, my dog greets me] Me: At least somebody's happy to see me! Dog: *shakes head, pulls banana from pocket*