@Midgetspar: Just built a kite that'll hold my cat. Figured if a mouse helped discover electricity then my cat & I should be able to unlock time travel.
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@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop.
@Reverend_Scott: If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier.
@HeyANow: Truth: My 85yr old grandmother's answering machine says, "I'll call you back when I want to, if I want to." Heroes are all around us.
@TheTweetOfGod: Don't take this the wrong way, but you're all horrible sinners and you're going to hell.