@adamhess1: Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.
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@4ScoreN20Bowls: Whoever decided to spell it Albuquerque instead of Albakirky. You're a fuquing quoqusuquer
@kevinseccia: The Flash is lucky because he can run real fast but also because he lives in a world where every problem can be solved by running real fast.
@VanVeenB: Dance like nobody's watching you. 'Cause they're not. Nobody cares. ~Inspirational tweet~
@samlymatters: If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.