@adamhess1: Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shamans_heal: The doctor wants me to start eating healthier to add years to my life. It's like he doesn't realize I'm married.
@mortimermaiden: Judge: The jury finds the defendant guilty. Me: Nooooooooo. Judge: Again, you're the plaintiff. Me: Haha. Oh yeah.
@SSparklesDaily: People on social media will threaten murder in the comment section of a cake recipe.