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@treydayway: Just calculated my BMI and found out I should be 47ft tall.
@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
@Book_Krazy: Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast]
Him: How did you get in my house?
@causticbob: The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
@SteveSuckington: Me: Hello darkness my old friend
Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan