@treydayway: Just calculated my BMI and found out I should be 47ft tall.
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@TheRolo: I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.
@panmidwest: Ok, all you people who adopt dogs and put "who rescued who?" stickers on your car... you drive me crazy! Clearly it's "who rescued whom?"
@wineoclock39: Sometimes I shock myself with smart things I say. Other times, I struggle to get out of my car with the seatbelt on.
@RoosterMustache: [with my pet bird at the park] Hot girl: omg ur duck is so cute Me: *covering mr quackers ears* he's a mallard u idiot get away from me