@DistractedMomma: Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can't leave messages now. That's the kind of genius I am.
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@TheDailySchmuck: I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues.
@OpenClassMX: If I say I love you, don't read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too.