@CountGripsnatch: Just checked my Farmville for the first time in a year. It's now a Walmart.
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@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.
@mommy_cusses: Me: Whatcha doin'? 5: Whatcha doin'? Me: Are you copying me? 5: Are you copying me? Me: I'm adopted 5: I'm adop- WHAT?
@AndyAsAdjective: "How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"