@eff_yeah_steph: Just cleaned out my purse if anyone needs 17 pens or a tooth.
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@pattonoswalt: Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?
@StephenBCramer: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@WhtUReallyMean: I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic.
@Godhatespants: Just heard a 15 year old call an autobiography a word selfie *points finger gun at mouth* *pulls trigger*