@goldengateblond: Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bees_wingz: No, no, I didn't need to talk to a customer service representative, thanks. I just wanted to hear some terrible music.
@Bratch_Patch: "Friends are a dime a dozen." *pulls out a sack full of dimes* "Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.