@mikescollins: Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along.
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@Book_Krazy: [interview] "How would you describe your people skills?" ME: I tend to drive others away. "That's great! Welcome to Uber."
@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
@KeetPotato: cop: "sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: "ok that's better"
@TheBananaFacts: Bananas will never talk shit about you. Not because they don't have mouths....but because they respect the choices you make.