@mikescollins: Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: Certain people have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves But I don't like to point fingers
@SortaSarcastic: Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ...
@AHMalcolm: Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don’t worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about