@BuckyIsotope: Just did my taxes. Put $420.69 on every line and 5 IRS agents just showed up at my door with a keg, 3 strippers and giant foam fingers.
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@carlyken: Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
@fightforfood: You can pretty much tell me anything is an anagram and I'll believe it. I'm not about to rearrange a bunch of letters like some doctor
@valerie_tosi: In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say "you've got mail". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998.
@Brampersandon_: [zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much...