@carlyken: If you can't handle my interpretive dance to November Rain than you don't deserve me doing splits on the hood of your car to Whitesnake.

@pplwtching: I just forgot about some nachos in the oven, don't tell me about your hopes and dreams going up in flames.

@RandiLawson: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi

@MisterBombay: If I were a fashion designer I wouldn't spend any money on advertising but rather pay old people to wear my competitor's clothing

@meganamram: Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads