@BuckyIsotope: Just did my taxes. Put $420.69 on every line and 5 IRS agents just showed up at my door with a keg, 3 strippers and giant foam fingers.
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@MaritalFauxPas: What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens.
@Underchilde: You think you’re not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles.
@CharmandBrains: *Whispers, spitters are for quitters. ~Wine tasting, you pervs!
@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.
@TheMichaelRock: Amazon Prime is probably the least threatening of all the Transformers.
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