@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@slimmy_shady: SIRI, CALL FOR HELP! Searching for kelp. OMGYOU IDIOT! SIRI, GET AN AMBULANCE! There are 23 listings for lap dance in your area.
@PJTLynch: Nothing's more infuriating than opening the in-flight magazine to see the Sudokus already half-done, in the colors of your rival Sudoku gang
@Underchilde: Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
@DaddyJew: Son: room's clean Me: u better not have thrown everything in ur closet S: I didnt M:*checks* nice, but wheres everything S: in ur closet