@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.
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@CoolHegel: "This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
@jergarl: It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states.
@GBRougecity: "What a nice doggie." "I'll have you know it's not a doggie but a pure bred." "YOU HAVE A DOG MADE OUT OF BREAD??!!!!"