@my_minivan_life: Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.
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@VancityReynolds: Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokémon.
@alldrolledup: my ex: sometimes I forget why we ever broke up me: when you do that sigh thing I can hear your nose hair
@MommaWordsIt: My milk of magnesia brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, you sounded younger on the phone.