@redthe1: Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
@Kelly_skeleton: Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her
@Chumpstring: [grocery store]
DAD: [wearing a ski mask]
SON: this is so embarrassing
MOM: hush- your father gets nervous when we have to buy toilet paper
@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@carinahsieh: imagine a rom com so perfect they never end up together and just stay enemies with sexual tension until they both die
@PyrBliss: If you've ever wanted to reconnect with people you haven't seen in ages, take a quick trip to the grocery store looking like complete shit.