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@Sassafrantz: Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
@BatBatshitcrazy: After the "incident" at the family cabin, my Indian name is Bounces Off Deck.
@curlycomedy: Songs with lyrics like, "We don't need sleep," why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: Do not 'K' me again.
Me: In any language.
This is why I'm crazy.
@Tylerosis: "I love you."
"I love you, two."
Because multiple personality disorder.
@ReelQuinn: I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.