@Sassafrantz: Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
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@DaHess1: Whenever someone dies they always tell me God called them home so that's why I'll never give Jesus my real phone number.
@jilleb163: Sometimes I think I should introduce myself to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the police as "Quiet and keeps to herself."
@BlackCatBettie: If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends.