@MUMSIEesq: 3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

@Wakenbake77: I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.

@liv_thatsme: You know you're old when you see the neighbor's dog chasing some punk teenagers & you root for the dog.

@imence2: Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive.

@johngcaldwell4: Me: *cleans kitchen and does laundry Wife: looks like someone is getting lucky Me: 1 hour of uninterrupted Call of Duty? W: Yes Me: WOOHOO!