@charliedelta7: Just flipped my son off behind his back because I'm an adult and don't get into arguments with 4 year olds.
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@jwoodham: I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
@RorynotRoy: I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."
@ch000ch: I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*