@charliedelta7: Just flipped my son off behind his back because I'm an adult and don't get into arguments with 4 year olds.
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@PMTheron1: I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid.
@AverageCorners: I duct taped a stick to the front of the lawn mower today so I could feel like I was riding a majestic unicorn that eats grass super fast.
@TheBeerGuy73: *smokes fat doobie* *enters hotdog eating contest* *sets Guinness World Record* *gets disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs*