@Cheeseboy22: Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT'd, so I threw it back in.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people.
@joerogan: Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
@DJRotaryRachel: Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes.
@QuiteQuietOne: I just peed in my bath. But don't worry, I won't drink the water. - 4 year old logic