@Black__Elvis: Just found a hole in my sock and now I'm worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
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@IAmKatieOrr: I wonder if both Wright Brothers were behind their inventions, or it was just one & their mother yelling "Wilbur, you include your brother!"
@tararose711: Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second.
@XGroverX: "I'm so hungry, I could eat a human baby." Everyone in Whole Foods stares at me stunned "Corn-fed organic of course, I'm not a monster."