@Sassafrantz: Just found a new app that that tells you which one of your friends are boring. It's called Facebook.
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@Coolisiana: Give me one reason why I shouldn't pass this math class "You held up 2 fingers just now" Ok then give me that many reasons
@subtleapt: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
@TwatyTweets: When I have kids I'm gonna tell them drugs are good for them. It's the only way I can be sure they won't try them.
@mewchainz: My sister said she had strange cravings and an enhanced sense of smell so she must be pregnant, but I secretly thought, "werewolf."