@wickedsuga: Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens.
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@DiscoCanadian: [I emerge from the bushes covered in blood] Director: CUT! For the last time I said mud! Where do you keep getting all this blood from?
@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn
@hippieswordfish: *emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'
@tigersgoroooar: It sucks when an album has a real chill sad song and you’re like oh yeahh and then the next song is crazy loud it makes me wanna eat knives.