@wickedsuga: Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens.
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@Parentpains: I never knew my mechanic was a psychic until he loudly announced that I had blown a tranny in my car.
@fro_vo: Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see
@PeterClayton6: My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.
@INDlAN_: I’m still waiting for the day my patents will say: “It’s all fake son, we’re millionaires, this was just to teach you how to be humble.