@wickedsuga: Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens.
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@kivtur: [How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]
@msbtx: Son: What does "nihilism" mean? Me: "Everything is meaningless." Son: Wow ok nice attitude. Do you know what it means or not?
@EricGoldie: Apparently "some assembly required" is IKEA for "here's a beech tree and some nails."
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait...