@wickedsuga: Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens.
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@Mikecanrant: I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face.
@hennaahmedx: *me in highschool* friend: omg!! I just got into a fight with my boyfriend what do i do :(( me: aw it’s okay just talk it out!! u guys will be fine! It’s true love!! ❤️❤️❤️ *me now* friend: omg! My boyfrie- me: leave him. friend: but it wasn’t even- me: leave. him.
@TEXASVETERAN: My dad annoyed my mom calling her "Mother of 7" until the day she called him "Father of 4".
@LostFelicia: The number of Piña coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many.