@ChaseMit: Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook.
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@MavenofHonor: [during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@KateWhineHall: "...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right." -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet.