@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.
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@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!
@VinnieLovelace: Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores
@all_about_today: What I've learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh.