@QwertyJones3: Just found out that "3 Men and a Baby" isn't a movie about Jesus's birth.
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@sixfootcandy: [camping] Him: Did you eat the last s'more? Me: No. Him: You're lying. Me: How do you know? Him: Your pants are literally on fire.
@Fart_Bringer: "U put on suntan lotion?" "No" "Youll get sunburned!" *sun descends, his voice echoes loudly* "NICE BICEPS BRO, UR LIL SISTER LOAN EM TO U?"
@TrainedHedonist: Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books.
@TweetsByTheTony: El Chapo is a murderous Mexican drug lord. El Chapo Supreme is a murderous Mexican drug lord with sour cream, lettuce and tomato.