@OhNoSheTwitnt: Just found out there's a bug called the tarantula hawk wasp and I'm like holy shit maybe just pick one terrifying predator to name it after.
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@Smooheed: *tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*
@Mikel_Jollett: Instagram: My life is a party. Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show Facebook: My life turned out great! Twitter: We're all going to die.
@preritpathak: *At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes "No, I'm good" & "No, I'm just looking"* Me:"No, I'm just good looking"