@stevevsninjas: 12 Signs You Might Have Leprosy - Number 8 is jaw-dropping!

@ChickenMclovin: I told my sandwich to "go make me a girlfriend"

@nicfit75: *goes to Walgreens for memory pill supplements* *forgets what they're called*

@thequeensheart: I hate when I skip lunch and come home and inhale my kitchen

@Adar79Angie: I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"