@respected_loner: just found out today that monkeys don't lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notalogin: Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this.
@panmidwest: [world series game 1] Wife: where are our seats? Hamlet: 2b... Wife: there are people there Hamlet: or not 2b
@MarfSalvador: [Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats
@OfficeofSteve: If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart