@cheeky__gal: Just gave a homeless man $5 because I know what it's like to be sober.
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@BobLoblaw143637: Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge.
@WheelTod: [Stick Insects Anonymous] Group Leader: "There's no easy way of saying this. But I believe one of you may be a plant."
@joeljeffrey: I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.
@patnspankme: In 5 more years people will be notified of their termination of employment via emoji.