@DannyZuker: Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked.
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@motorace177: I'm looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
@SondraDeeMe: If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing.
@Darchstar078: Fact: Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I fall into a pit of quicksand.