@KentWGraham: Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: Octopus - 8 arms "Yes" Octagon - 8 sides "Yes" Octuplets - 8 babies "Yes" October - 8th month "No" I'm burning this world down
@_Mo_lee_: This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas
@KenJennings: I can't believe "still uses Winamp" is a pre-existing condition now. This feels personal.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [death row sitcom] Me [sits down in a chair to eat]: This chicken is raw! Warden [flicks switch]: That's about to change Sign: *APPLAUSE*