@NickSwardson: Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!
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@Reverend_Scott: [Shop class] Satan: Whatcha makin'? God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making? Satan: A bong.
@robyn_vo: People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that.
@Douchekevin: Don't mix your medication with alcohol she said and we laughed and laughed and laughed & then took turns operating operating heavy machinery
@murrman5: [surgeon in the recovery room] in addition to the hernia we also found $20 in change [me who's always been a good tipper] you're welcome