@NickSwardson: Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!
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@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings. ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like.
@halvewit: I think my neighbor is very sick. I have now seen him putting no less than six of his arms in his garbage over the past year.
@caseytduncan: Ooop, you spit-talked on me. I'm just gonna pretend nothing happened and freak out inside my mind.
@Donna_McCoy: Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced.