@HappyHijabbi: Just got added to a list called "people." Glad I made that cut.
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@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
@trumpetcake: MY NANA WAS A FREAK IN THE SACK. Now granted, we didn't stuff her in that sack often, but boy would she freak out when we did.
@nbadag: THERAPIST: you're running from something. what do u think it might be? [goose outside the window does throat-slitting motion] ME: uh—failure