@HappyHijabbi: Just got added to a list called "people." Glad I made that cut.
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@NoogsCorner: Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite.
@haveigotnews: Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album.
@keyblur_justin: I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care.