@HappyHijabbi: Just got added to a list called "people." Glad I made that cut.
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@Xoolun: Went to the gym and asked the trainer. Could you help me do splits? Trainer: Sure How flexible are you? Me: I can only do Thursday.
@Julie_Cooker: Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? 💪
@PortlandiaGirl: There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
@KatieKatCubs: Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit.