@MoistPork: Just got invited to an "alcohol-free" wedding. The happy couple will be sad when they realize it's going to be a "present-free" wedding too.
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@HatfieldAnne: I appreciate your confidence in me, but it appears your “foolproof” chicken recipe is merely “fool resistant.”
@muse_me_again: Just once when someone says, "Is anyone there?" in a scary movie, I want the villain to be like. "What up. I'm over here. You got me."