@TheCatWhisprer: Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button.
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@SomeChrisTweets: *ding* This is your captain speaking. We... Is this what my voice sounds like? Nobody told me! Haha, wow, weird. We're out of fuel.
@Mr_Bucky: My weird paranoid neighbor, shreds all her mail and closes all the shades. But never locks her basement window.
@anylaurie16: Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, “the ablest person I’ve ever worked with.” Well, I can see why he’s a hit with the ladies.