@TheCatWhisprer: Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button.
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@primawesome: This transition of power reminds me of when my grandma turned over Thanksgiving duties to my mom and the night ended with police showing up.
@OBiiieeee: Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass.
@chopper4jk: Text: How come you stopped drinking? Me: Because I kept waking up with you. Her: I hate you.