@TheCatWhisprer: Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button.
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@JamesonN7: If my mother only knew the things I say on Twitter.......... I'd be sitting in the corner with a bar of soap in my mouth and grounded.
@LizHackett: My husband walked into the kitchen and asked, "What's burning?" I told him, "The world. But what you smell is the chicken."
@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.