@ch000ch: just got mad and flipped a table but it spun all the way around in landed right side up. everyone in Applebee's is clapping
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@ben_watt: Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out 'Batman, your cape.'
@VerifiedDrunk: Jesus is all like eat my body, drink my blood and I'm all like dude, I only like you as a friend.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to "please pull up to the window."
@LostFelicia: Someone's overfeeding that damn cat. I mean.. there's something like Stonehenge in her litter box.