@mzeld: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk.
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@ClickBaite: Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now
@ShipInTheKnight: Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town
@OVO_Ty15: I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny.