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@mzeld: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk.
@papasuncle: God: Basically u just chill.
God: I mean, at first.
God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat.
@AaronMichael_: God created the orgasm so women can moan even when they're happy.
@TheBoydP: Protip: Never take your wife with you to your annual checkup. She will tell the doctor way too much about you.