@CptBombs75: Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves
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@WilliamRodgers: I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave "quicker"
@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.
@TeaAndCopy: ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon