@CptBombs75: Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves
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@michaelianblack: All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants.
@wickedimproper: Day One, living in one of those tiny houses: "Well, isn't this quaint?" Day Two: Murder
@Brampersandon_: Did you really get a crocodile tattooed around your belly button? -IT'S AN ALLIGATOR KAREN. GOD YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT.
@albywizzy: Spoiler Alert: Ladies ,if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear it has a Camera in it.