@fuzzlime: just got vinegar in my eye so I totally get it, girls who get vinegar in their eye
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@catstronomical: me *dead*: at least I don't have to pay student loans *Gets e-mail* We see your living status has changed. Click to update your loan info.
@AllyBallyBeal: Getting a text message from your ex is like getting a message from Satan on an Ouija board.
@DionneMcNutt: A boy at church was asked if he knew what the resurrection was. "Yes, and if it lasts more than 4 hours you're supposed to see a doctor."
@autocorrects: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.