@KaysNH: Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still.
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@nami_knows: Yesterday my 3 year old had a meltdown & threw her water bottle at our cat. After she calmed down I said, “I don’t think it was very kind to throw your bottle at the cat. Maybe you should apologize.” So she said sorry to the water bottle
@SaraMansford: Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon.
@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.