@CYComedy: Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named "Marco" in the supermarket just now.
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@bea_ker: That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*
@Storminika: Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can't do is pick up it's own poop. You're just a poop collector.
@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"