@CYComedy: Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named "Marco" in the supermarket just now.
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@SequelsWeWant: The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee.
@Tups13: I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly.
@TheMichaelRock: *wife gives me a big hug before I leave for work* I love you too, babe! [later] Where's my credit card? Son of a..
@OfficialMizGin: I put a message in an empty wine bottle and threw it in the ocean. It said, “Please refill and return to sender.” Now I wait.