@CYComedy: Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named "Marco" in the supermarket just now.
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@girl_a_whirl: [Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a pogo stick] "The" *bounce* "British" *bounce* "are" *bounce* "coming!!" *bounce* *bounce*
@BlackCheesePie: this is your brain *points to egg* but this is your brain ON DRUGS *puts egg on pile of drugs*
@murrman5: my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
@jonnysun: [puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS