@ieatanddrink: Just heard that distinct "baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor" sound
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@PyrBliss: I'm no mathementientist, but I should probably go to bed because it's 4AM and I'm making up words again.
@KizerBillhelm: It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.
@TonyWIVK: BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence taking 2-year break from acting. Vin Diesel is also taking a break from acting, but will keep making movies.
@JanineEB4: My biggest regret to date is probably never telling Kary C, Kerri B, Cari R and Kerry L from 4th grade that their names were spelled wrong..