@ieatanddrink: Just heard that distinct "baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor" sound
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@Dutch_50: Me: What did she say about me? Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that? Too many questions? Really? Me? ...What else?
@Izianikapani: My kids don't drive me to drink. Can't wait until they get their license and they can though.
@Nocturnesthesia: Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid