@1evilidiot: Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight.
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@stuckinaportal: *walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss* wtf? "dad i can explain" u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes
@MindyFurano: if you can't handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to
@AndrewNadeau0: Once I tried to rescue this kitten stuck in a tree only it wasn’t a kitten it was an owl and he was, like…he was fine there.
@TheGayFlash: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.