@SamuelHLowe: Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
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@steveolivas: If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?
@HeyZeus666: My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
@Death_Buddy: I keep a chalk outline of myself drawn outside my house so any murderers think, "dang, someone's already got the murdering covered here"