@WilliamAder: Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.
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@SternoShots: Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?
@lilgapeach30: The black smoke coming from my toaster indicates a new pop tart has been selected!
@careworn: When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets.