@envydatropic: I'm just a girl standing here wishing I was as thin as my patience

@stockejock: Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?

@OhNoSheTwitnt: This reads like the bunny is the First Lady and I can't stop laughing.

@withanewname: Wife: "you think all that sugar you fed the kids this morning was a wise idea?" Me: "why?" W: M: W: "they're running along side the car"

@MichaelTrying: It's the anniversary of Tetris. We should have a block party.