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@kalmooha: Just Instagramed picture of a dog. Now I will have to eat it.
@david8hughes: How do you stop babies crying when you drop them? And don't say 'garbage disposal' because that's jammed now.
@Laser_Cat: Jesus, take the wheel!
*steering wheel disappears*
*car careens into tree*
@detroit_et: Hey geese crossing the road, u can fly.
@TitansHomer: I wouldn't say I "missed" your call.
@fart: i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf