@ImAlexOliver: Just installed an egg cannon on the hood of my car. Flipping people off and cursing at them just doesn't satisfy me anymore.
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@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
@MicheleAKALips: I had a boyfriend once....right up until the moment my dad asked him "so what do you do?" and he replied your daughter. He's Dead.