@tomatopasties: Just joined one of those Ashley Madison type websites. It's called Twitter
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@novicefather: [1st ppl to go camping] wife: what do u wanna do this week? hubs: luxury cruise? w: no h: nice hotel? w: no h: pretend to be homeless w: YES
@therealeatwood: ADMIRAL: We must surround and board the enemy’s ship CHIEF PETTY OFFICER: And then we can walk right past them like they’re not even there
@hbombmom: Friendly parenting reminder - as the weather starts to get nicer, don't forget to close the windows before you yell at your kids.