@HTownHarold: Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I'm now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
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@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty.
@BillFienberg: I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10.
@briangaar: Son your teacher called, she said you wrote "AQUAMAN RULZ" all over your math test. [sigh] First of all, Aquaman doesnt have any good powers