@uccjeb: Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I'll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live.
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@Steelers1972: I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
@JohnLyonTweets: I don’t care how much candy he offers you, kids, do NOT get out of Billy Ocean’s dreams and into his car.