@buck4itt: Just learned an important lesson: When texting "wish you were here," that last e kind of makes it or breaks it.
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@angibangie: 4yo: let me smell your eyelashes! Me:...ok 4yo:smells like spiders. What if they eat your face? Me: this is how nightmares are born.
@Burtslorp: WHAT DO WE WANT? Migraine relief. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Yell again & they'll never find your body.
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".